I have been struggling with something lately and clearly need to check myself. Some of you may know. I have a 3 year old. There’s a thing called the “terrible threes”. Not that my child is terrible. She’s just rowdy at times. She’s rough, she stands on her head and flips. Any mom would be nervous about those things. But when she hurts herself. Again, like any mother. You snap a little. I feel like I need to check myself because she’s only three. She doesn’t fully understand. But I also need her to understand. Every action has a reaction. Or there’s consequences in the things that I tell you not to do. I’ve never had anyone baby me. Talk babyish to me. So it’s not in my nature to be that person or speak that way. I do think I am a little hard on her. But I’m trying to make her understand. If you act that way you don’t get what you want. Or when and if you do this you can hurt yourself. I do find myself raising my voice. But normally to get her attention. Let’s face it, kids have selective hearing. They do what they want and they will test you until you want to break down and cry. Or just give up. Let them do them, mess up the house. Then only run when you hear them cry. How will they learn if you leave them alone? They need to feel your energy when you get upset. When they break something or hurt themselves after you told them NO. What makes things harder. Is doing it alone. So I’m extra hard on myself because I’m always tired. So I may raise my voice and notice after. Knowing she doesn’t know any better. I must apologize to her. I think a child needs to know when they’re wrong. But also know that mommy can be too. Nobody is perfect. People make mistakes. But the lesson in that is learning from it. It may not be right away. But eventually they will get it. I’m actually shocked sometimes when my daughter listens to me. But I am naturally hard on myself. Doesn’t mean I’m doing bad. I’m just learning as I go along. I also find myself speak to people in a tone where…. It can be a little too nice. Sometimes I can be nice to people I should be mean to. But I count my blessings. Just because someone is mean or rude to me. Doesn’t mean I need to do it back to them. To me, it’s not worth it. Why get myself upset when someone else is upset about something that has nothing to do with me. Those people should also check themselves. Who are you really mad at? It might be yourself for allowing such behavior. That’s why you’re upset. Some only point the finger at others. Instead of themselves.
(Jhené Aiko – “None Of Your Concern”.)