How do kids grow crushes at a young age?  It’s usually because they spend time together.  How do adults grow crushes?  By looks and reputation. What they wear and how they wear it.  Have you ever thought of someone only liking you because of the way you look and not by the person that you are?  Or because of what you do for them.  Sounds selfish to me.  The way you look should be the bonus.  When do people ever like someone for them?  Their personality, their flaws.  That little twitch their nose makes when they laugh.  When do people not care about how someone looks or dresses?  As far as I know when you like someone for them.  The looks grow on you.  The physical attraction will come later.  I was watching this show where these people go on dates.  But they don’t see them.  They are blocked by some sort of stained glass.  But all they can do is talk to them and build the emotional connection.  When is falling in love genuine?  Nothing is the same as it was 20 years ago.  It isn’t even safe to walk to the store on a chilly night wearing a hoody.   

So, I say all of this to say this.  Most guys out here are in it to get the cookie.  Let’s face it, girls need love too!  But, they more than likely have a girl at home and possibly a baby.  Or they’re lonely and need some loving.  God forbid a woman says they just want the sex.  They will immediately be labeled as a hoe, easy, slore, slut, you name it.    But that’s neither here nor there.  The fact is these guys that look “good” “right” “fine” only probably have a big Johnson and are good in bed.  Sometimes even having a big Johnson isn’t enough.  They lack tons of substance, empathy and emotion.  Seems like a regular dude, right?  This guy may have been hurt in the past therefore he’s this way.  Or maybe he’s just a jerk and doesn’t know it.  He may not have had a woman tell him.  “Hey, you’re an asshole.”  But the guys that want a serious relationship usually attract the ones that just want to have fun.  So, they catch feelings and get their heart broken.  Then here we are again with the assholes.   I like to call it “The circle of Richards.”  What ever happened to respectful gentlemen.  Where are they? I heard they only live in the south.  Us city folks are always in a rush.  I think it’s a generational thing. Some people don’t stop to think about the future and only thinking about the present.  But, how do you attract someone?  Attraction means the power of evoking interests, pleasure or liking of someone or something. Attraction to most people is how someone looks.  When you first meet someone.  They usually say what attracted them was your eyes or your smile. Mostly, all things physical. 

You guys need to do better.  Read a book.  Educated yourself.  Don’t come with a cheesy line like “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”  That’s corny and unoriginal. Surround yourself with people that you look up to or inspire you to be a better person.  Sometimes you have to let that friend go that still wants to sell drugs and involve you in their bullshit.  He may be good company.  But going legit is the way to be.  Yes, we pay taxes.  But those taxes are paying for tons of things I rather not discuss.  But, it will look better when you lead with that verses.  “I just get money baby”. Grow up.   Yes, you may be available anytime.  But that anytime can land you in a situation that most woman want no parts of.  This blog goes for both men and woman.  Be your true self and don’t settle.  If you don’t want something. Speak up.  If you do, speak up.  Don’t let anyone take your joy or force you into something you don’t want. If you feel a vibe like something is off, even a little bit.  Listen to it.  Your instincts can help you get out of a situation before it happens.  If all else fails.  Just be alone.  It’s less work and less stress.  But there is someone for everyone.  Also, most people don’t want to die alone.  YOLO.

(Mary J. Blige – Seven Days)

(Mary J. Blige – My Life)

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